Guest post - Feelin’ Some Kinda Way About Love’s Currency

Feelin’ Some Kinda Way ~ About Love’s Currency

By angelinad

Do we pay love forward at an acceptable exchange rate?

From one country to another, currency (money) has different values, and the exchange rate describes the value of one country’s currency against another. The values can float (change) or they can be fixed and based on that of another country. Though somewhat risky, a floating rate is fluid, meaning that it can go up and down based on the economic environment.

Now, today’s blog is not intended to argue what love is or to define it. It serves as, sort of, an exploration of the value of love’s currency; a quick evaluation of exchange rates and the means we use to pay love forward.
When we understand love, we often attempt to give it to others through our actions. We make purchases of gifts. We spend time helping with tasks. And, we understand those actions to be our expression or payment of love – when love is a thing you do. It doesn’t seek to be repaid. It doesn’t need change. It is fixed in its value and is not fluid in this case. But, imagine for a moment that the person receiving your love currency (actions) as another country, and love in this country is valued differently. The exchange rate is not the same. Your gift purchase did not meet the mark. The tasks you were helping with had no value at all – in this country. If you know this, do you keep spending at your current rate or attempt to adjust to the exchange rate?
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This is a guest post by AngelinaD. The original post can be found here:
http://angelinad.wordpress.com/2012/05/15/feelin-some-kinda-way-about-loves-currency/
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When love is given, it is also received – preferably at equal value. The rate of exchange is posted and communicated clearly. When the exchange rate is fixed, it is resistant to change; and growth in value is limited. But, when the exchange rate is fluid, it allows for fluctuations in economic conditions. Whether conditions are good or bad, the value love’s currency adjusts to the climate. In this climate, people can enjoy spending; and people can enjoy getting paid with an even exchange – of Love’s Currency.

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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Sunday Schooled - White Folks

White Folks

(Photo Dr. Sam Varner (left) and Baseball Legend Jackie Robinson (right)

Drew Morris, a (White, and I say that to provide a visual) minister who is around 65 (Pops is 70) shared with me in a meeting information about my Dad that I didn't know. He stated "Your Dad is a phenomenal man, he has done things that others are still scared to do. He deserves a lot of recognition. He then says "We were in a meeting and he shared with us that Dr. King (The Honorable Dr. Martin Luther King) told my father in a meeting "You'll have to get rid of your hate for White people to do your job." Dad then reportedly shared in this meeting with Drew other things he did during the Civil Rights era involving racial reconciliation. Drew shared how he admired how my Dad, and other Blacks, rose above the problems of that time to act in a manner exemplified by Yeshua (Jesus). As a child I used to wonder how my parent's and ancestors lived under the suffocating veil of evil White supremacy without wanting to kill every White person in sight. As mad as I would become after hearing their stories I still couldn't hate Whites because my parents wouldn't allow that. They taught me to love Black and love White and everything in between. A lady once set Pops' hair on fire when he rooted for the other team at a football game. The Blancos around him wouldn't let him put out the fire nor retaliate against the witch. How could he be so loving after facing so much hate... He attributed it to "a relationship with Christ"... I thought that he and Christ were both crazy.

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Sunday Schooled is a collection of former blog post by Seko Varner. This post was originally

posted on Janruary 24, 2008 while Dr. Varner was still alive .

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Dad is pictured above with his friend..........Baseball legend Jackie Robinson (the second photo displays Dad with my brother and I). I remember coming home from school after learning about Jackie Robinson in school and telling Dad and Mom I want to play Baseball like Jackie Robinson. Dad said something to the effect of "Jackie used to throw balls at you when you were a baby." Dad then pulled Jackie Robinson's book off of his bookshelf and showed me a signature from Jackie with comments that could only be made from people who are close. Dad used to minister to Jackie Robinson's family and was even referenced in the book's "Thank You's". This picture still makes me shiver. Two men who both shaped and changed the world I live in. Two men who faced the cruelty of Amerika squarely in the face and 'showed love' in response to hate.

Dad raised us in a rather Afro-Centric environment, yet never showed a disdain for anyone. We were taught to love Africa and America. I still get looks of surprise when I often end prayers with my kids by saying "GOD bless Africa, GOD bless America, GOD bless everybody." GOD bless everybody.... Even those I want to hate. When Dad spoke of people he hated he spoke of Blacks who were racial betrayers. Dad is chock full of stories where White-folks did incredibly devilish acts of hatred to him, yet he only hated when 'we' didn't achieve, when 'we' hurt each-other, when 'we' failed to improve our station in life, when 'we' didn't appreciate ourselves...........Achieve, heal us, improve yourself, appreciate us.

02/03/2013 Addendum. Yesterday I sat on the edge of my seat enjoying a learning from Rich Thawley, a giant in my business of World Financial Group. In the midst of his session where he taught us about doing business in the realm of the Lower Law and moving towards doing business in the Higher Law, he shared a quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln that I had recently heard from my mentor John Epting. "Pray like it's up to God, work like it's up to you." Rich talked about working in Love for our clients noting that we have products and services that can change lives forever. Rich shared how we should talk the three languages of Higher Law to help our clients, and to help ourselves, combat the natural tendency to avoid actions that seem hard while obviously leading to improvement. Rich shared how many in America have been DCP'd (Discouraged, Criticizied, and Put-Down) and it may up to us to guide them towards the Promised Land. Rich began his talk by sharing that too many in our country have accepted eight personally destructive values. Rich taught that too many (1) Want winning to be easy, (2) Want life to be fair and fairly distributed, (3) Get their feelings hurt and stop their progress, (4) Worry too much or too little about the opinions of others, (5) Are afraid to compete, (6) Want someone else to do things for them, (7) Are easily distracted, and (8) Think like employees rather than the masters of their fate. As Rich ended his talk I was standing on my feet waiting on his next word. He ended with "Life will only give you what you will fight for...."
Ashee.
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

My brothers are Baltimore Ravens ! Dad is so proud !

In honor of the superbowl I wanted to post a photo of my brothers playing for the Baltimore Ravens !

O.K................They are my fraternity brothers.......... I'm still tossing up my hooks !
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  !

America, Enjoy the Superbowl !
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances.

Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education.

Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television.

Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Nobody else can do this for us - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"Nobody else can do this for us" - America's King

I was raised with  reverence for the Almighty, a path of following Yeshua (Jesus the Christ), an understanding that all I was given was given for me to give, a love of America, and a love of Africa. As I frequently spent time in primarily "White" environments as a child I learned early on that I couldn't fully publicly celebrate in February's Black History Month. In the environments I've been employed in I frequently silently smiled at comments from people of African descent who would attempt to 'fit in' by publicly watering down Black History Month  as they worried that the recognition would "cause more harm"..... Americans seem to use the strategy of dilution frequently. The honorable Dr. King was watered down to "I have a Dream." (Many will say that this speech wasn't his finest). The honorable Rosa Parks was watered down to one act of courage (an act she did more than once, and and act that was done numerous times before her). The honorable Marcus Mosiah Garvey was diluted to "Back to Africa." (Nuff said) and the White and Jewish Americans who made decisions that complemented the acts of the aforementioned are rarely mentioned. (Somebody "White" had to sign to change the 'Un-American yet strangely American' laws that Dr. King's activities were able to nudge towards change). I, however, wasn't taught diluted history which relates to people who have a glorious African ancestry. 

I was raised being taught about Mexico's 2nd President who was proudly of African descent. I was taught the hidden Black history of the 'Three Musketeers" candy bar. I was taught about the atrocities and hidden gems of Christianity's Black History (in example: the African cultural and regional origins of the man who is recorded to carry the cross for Christ) and I was warned by my parents and teachers that even as we are Americans, Americans will not fondly allow "us" to publicly celebrate the African aspect of ourselves. 

I realize that this post may make some feel uneasy. Rest assured. We love you as well. Celebrating one aspect of myself doesn't reduce a love I have for other parts of my American and Human and everything else existence. "So for those that have ears"........Here are some of the things that I was taught.

Here's some of the Dr. King I was raised on:
“I come here tonight & plead with you, believe in yourself & believe that you’re somebody…nobody else can do this for us, no document can do this for us, no Lincolnian Emancipation Proclamation can do this for us, no Kennedisonian or Johnsonian civil rights bill can do this for us, if the negro is to be free he must move down into the inner resources of his own soul & sign with a pen an ink of self assertive manhood his own emancipation proclamation…don’t let anybody take your manhood, be proud of our heritage…we don’t have anything to be ashamed of, somebody told a lie one day, they couched it in language, they made everything black ugly & evil, look in your dictionary & see the synonyms of the word black- it’s always something degrading, low & sinister look at the word white, it’s always something pure..well I want to get the language right tonight, I want to get the language so right that everybody here will cry out YES I AM BLACK & I’M PROUD OF IT, I AM BLACK & BEAUTIFUL!” - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Here's some more of the Dr. King I was raised on:
“We must see now that the evils of racism, economic exploitation and militarism are all tied together ... you can't really get rid of one without getting rid of the others... the whole structure of American life must be changed.  America is a hypocritical nation and (we) must put (our) own house in order.” - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“There must be a better distribution of wealth and maybe America must move toward a democratic socialism." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“The shirtless and barefoot people of the land are rising up as never before.  The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light.  We in the West must support these revolutions.” - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

During this month I invite you to enjoy my past lessons and to consider that "Nobody else can do this for us." Whatever it is that I, you, we - need to change.....Nobody else can do this for us.... We must do it for ourselves, for our ancestors, and to the glory of the Almighty. God, continue to bless America.

Remain beloved, beloved.
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Dumping Credit Card Debt Forever

Peace & Prosperity,
     I had numerous recent conversations regarding credit card and other debts. I help folkout out debt on the daily. While I pray and pour libation for your financial-FREEdom I submit this for your consideration. Here's the road to FREEdom. Let me start Biblically.... Romans 13:8

"Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law." - KJV
"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." - NIV

     If you are one who follows the Bible I invite you to consider that passage.........Cool..... Time up. I'm not pushing a certain translation or interpretation. However, it seems pretty clear that this particular passage warns Bible-followers to remain away from debt and to pay their debts. What's crazy to me is I've met and interacted with numerous self-described Bible-followers who aovid creditors calls, who have crazy amounts of debts, who have gone to court for collections, and who have had to move numerous times due to not paying their rent. One of the most difficult moves in acheiving financial FREEdom is dealing with debts. Here's one solution:

GET OUT OF DEBT !

My debt-destruction partner Dinh Nguyen and I provide a service that can reduce the amount and interest rate on debts. The ability to assist clients is fact dependant (It doesn't work for everyone - it depends on a few considerations) but when it works it works. To learn more about the process contact Dinh by calling 1-800-470-8155 ext. 141 and he will review the terms and see if it will be a good fix for you.

If your debts are greater than your income I would suggest considering our strategy and also considering the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (http://nfcc.org/) and requesting a Hardship DMP (Debt Management Plan) which may reduce your interest to 0%. Today I listened to a Clark Howard episode (01.24.13 - Here is the download link)  where he correctly advised the same. Currently my family is using the Debt Snowball approach,  as described by Dave Ramsey and my financial fav' Michelle Singletary, which sets one in a process of payiong off the smallest debts towards the largest debts to effectively 'Flee From Debt !" Whatever approach one uses, GET OUT OF DEBT. The good life awaits you ! Be blessed, stay blessed, be a blessing.

One last thing, If you know me personally.......Yes I do read and refer to the Bible. Don't be shocked ! I follow tried and true approaches.............. Hotep & Ashee !
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

IN PLACE ! Daddy and the DIVAGirl

This post is a bit self-serving.....But then again, so is this entire enterprise.

In 2011 I created some music to compliment a little song my daughter created. Later that year we recorded the track in the studio, and later released the song on I-Tunes and Amazon.com. We then shot a video, and waited......and waited.......and waited......... Now, about a year later, we finally received the video and it went live on Youtube. This is my daughter's second release !
Enjoy !
Seko
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Guest post - Feelin’ Some Kinda Way About Single Parenthood

Feelin’ Some Kinda Way ~ About Single Parenthood

By angelinad

I woke up this morning and realized something – I’m tired!

I recently had a conversation with a married male friend who told me that he wanted to give me props. He was just leaving from a meeting of a volunteer board in which is he is a member, headed to pick up his children from day care and take then to little league practice. I believe it was his day to do so, and his wife would be headed home from work to get dinner started and waiting for her husband and children to get home. On the average week, he and his wife split the duties of shuttling the children around. They both work full time in jobs that are not exclusively 9 to 5, have outside commitments in their community and are active in their church. I was quietly wondering when they have time for each other.
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This is a guest post from AngelinaD. The full original post ,ay be found here:
http://angelinad.wordpress.com/2012/05/21/i-woke-up-this/
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This week, I worked my 9 to 5 each day. On several days during the week, I prepared dinner (my teenage daughter is on deck the other days); I shuttled my children to alternate activities on alternating days; I did laundry; I had two meetings with potential clients, I completed some work for an existing client; I picked up prescriptions for my mother and ran errands for her; I remembered that my inspection is due and I need an oil change; I took the children to the movies; and loaded groceries in the car in the rain. I wrote some things…this is all I care to share – this week. I am not alone. There are many single parents who share my plight, and we do what we do because there is no other positive choice, and because we can.

As single parents, we often find ourselves in situations that tire us out. The best we can hope for is often that we have children that are well-behaved and easy to manage. In recent years, I’ve had the best of both worlds; and at times, the worst of both worlds. So, I can relate; and I encourage single parents to remember to find ways to take a moment for yourself – to constantly rebuild yourself and to rejuvenate your spirit. Regardless of the behaviors we are faced to deal with, our children are still children. And so, we must remember that at all times. We try things that didn’t work and try some things that did. We sometimes must penalize one child because of the behaviors of another, simply because you are only one person and cannot do it all. I’m feelin’ some kinda way about single parenthood because parenthood is hard, but when you are one person, your time and responsibilities are stretched to the point of discomfort. Some people deal with the discomfort better than others. Remember to reach out and access your resources – social services, parks & recreation, community programs. Look into mentoring programs and encourage activities. It has been said that the idle mind is the devil’s workshop; work towards little idle time for your children. Remember we are all working towards the same goal – raising kids who can take care of themselves and benefit their families and the world.

“When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go…you know…I went.” ~Forrest Gump

Maybe you asked for your single parent status, and maybe you didn’t. But, either way, do what you need…when you need…and remember your children…to give them what they need….

http://angelinad.wordpress.com/2012/05/21/i-woke-up-this/
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Sunday Schooled - I smile, you smile

I smile, you smile.

(Photo - Sam Varner graduates from Princeton University)
Dad's family wished him well as he discussed going to college. His mother and father both had third grade educations. His grandparents had less formal education. He used to tell me "I was never the smart child, I was only the one that was able to self motivate himself." In truth my father's siblings all did well. My grandfather, My father's Father had three families with three wives, He buried the first two wives and my grandmother buried my grandfather. My Grandfather had over 28 children and took care of all of them. My Father grew up calling many of his brothers and sisters aunt and uncle. These brothers and sisters were from my Grandfather's previous marriages. When my Grandfather married my Grandfather was in his late 60's and early 70s and my grandmother, formerly my grandfather's housekeeper, was in her 20s....... Back to the story..... 

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'Sunday Schooled' is a collection of blog posts from Seko Varner's former blogs. This post was dated 12/05/2007 while Seko's father, Rev. Dr. Samuel Varner was alive.
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(Photo Will Varner & Sam Varner Circa 1950ish)
The family went from plush to poor as the Whites in his neighborhood tricked his father out of land that he acquired. At one time my grandfather owned the first T-Model Ford vehicle in Opelika, Alabama and had acres of land. After the devils finished with him, he was extremely poor. Dad grew up with no running water, eating every two days at times, and in a home/shack that may seem third-world'ish in today's American standards. I remember the day he received his Doctorate degree from Princeton. He smiled widely for hours. His teeth became dry, he was so proud.

He ensured that my siblings and I had an easier life. He ensured that he was a better husband than his father was. He ensured that he would be able to provide us with an education after formal school since his father wasn't able to provide him with that opportunity. Dad made sure that he was the man that his father trained him to be and the man that his father wanted to be. Dad often told me that a dwarf standing on the arms of a giant can see farther and go farther than the giant. As I talk to Dad about the necessity of having more than an educational opportunity for my kids he simply smiles. I realized today that the smile he gives during those talk is the same as when he graduated. His graduation graduated our family, my new insight provides our family's new insight. I shine you shine. I pray now that I can experience that smile for many more years. After his last surgery his appetite has decreased. Dad now can go days without feeling hungry. I now enjoy every meal with him in a different light. Just watching him eat makes me smile.

It's funny......When I smile my son looks at me and smiles without knowing why. I guess I have a dwarf on my shoulders now. I smile, he smiles.
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Money is Spiritual - Rabbi Daniel Lapin

I just finished listening to the newest episode of Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership podcast. On this episode, Dave Ramsey teaches more ways EntreLeaders can apply Financial Peace principles to their businesses and Chris LoCurto interviews best-selling author and financial expert Rabbi Daniel Lapin. While I began listening for Dave's viewpoints, I ended up listening to Rabbi Daniels's section four times. Good stuff ! Click here for the link to access this podcast. I've now downloaded the episode and will be listening to it as I hit Planet Fitness in a few hours.......Or if Planet Fitness hits me, which is more likely.......... Anywhoooooo !

Thou Shalt Prosper is a widely acclaimed book written by the good Rabi regarding Hebrew/Jewish financial practices. A while ago I learned that a lot of the ancient Hebrew/Jewish text gave practical advice on ways in which the followers were to approach money and business. I found it interesting how the cultural and religious traditions focused so much on creating and maintaining a 'blessed financial foundation'. So I googled' the good Rabi and found that he has much to offer online. Below is a link to receive his weekly Thought Tools, also below is a video from one of his sessions on the 700 club. http://youtu.be/pjcbQdteWkU 



Enjoy the videos. Hopefully you'll enjoy the gift as much as I did. Also sign up for his weekly email. I did.

America's Rabbi's Thought Tools
Thought Tools is a free weekly Bible study email from Rabbi Daniel Lapin. It brings you tips, techniques, and knowledge that you will use to improve your life in four areas-Family, Faith, Friends, and Finances.
CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO THE PAGE TO SIGN UP FOR THOUGHT TOOLS

Have a healthy new year ! (Fiscally Healthy & Physically healthy !) Something to consider...

Seko Varner
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Sunday Schooled - I'm Bigger than that.

"I'm bigger than that."

I had a dear friend ask me today how I was able to get past the "kid-resentment". I mentioned to him how at times I had problems with the time that my children take from me and the opportunities that having a family has prevented me from taking. He is a father as well, and is struggling with something that I heard other men speak of privately. I'm sure it sounds like a weakness of the spirit to speak of this in public, so I believe that many fathers keep this to ourselves. Actually, I've only heard a few mothers speak of the Kid-resentment factor.. I'm not sure what to make of that revelation.

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'Sunday Schooled' is a re-posting of Seko's former blog posts. This is a re-post of a posting dated July 8, 2008. During that time Seko's father and mother-in-law were still alive.

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My experience in Fatherhood has been based in marriage, in the creation of the foundation of a family. So in many ways this resentment is more of a difficulty of Family than it is with being a Father. When entering my marriage the idea that the two will share each others dreams seems all-inclusive. It's been my experience that our dreams are shared to an extent in the best of situations. For instance: I've always dreamed of living out of the country for a few years, my wife can't imagine being physically away from her family. My dream, her nightmare. There really is no way that the two dreams can be reconciled fully. In my decision to become one with my beloved I had to attempt to kill my dream. Simply visiting or traveling isn't my dream. Having a vacation home out of the country for a few months isn't my dream. The specifics of my particular dream will never come to fruition unless my Wife kills her dream of always being in close proximity with her family. A commitment to a relationship means the killing of some of one's dreams in some way. This situation causes some resentment. I'm sure this resentment is natural and healthy and expected and all that other BS......It's something I have to deal with. I see the commitment I have with my children as having a similar experience.

In becoming a Father I have to let go of some of my agenda-items. I have to make decisions to engage in activities that I'm not fully interested in, not really concerned with. Working for, and knowing that my movements are for the greater good, is not always going to make me feel good and in many instances don't match with my agenda. I can say that the joy and accomplishments I see in my children seem to quell the rise of resentment. The hugs and interest I receive from my kids often dispel the dream/freedom-loss that I experience. I told this friend to hug his kids more, enjoy their experiences, and to spend more time with them and his resentment will fade.

So then my friend wanted to know what he could do when the hugs, the interest, the pride, the love, the sharing, the accomplishments are not enough to wash away the resentment. I shared how I often tell myself "I'm bigger than that." seems to work for me. I use these few words as a mantra almost daily, not out of ritual, but out of necessity......

I've had to kill some of my dreams to be in a relationship. I've had to kill some of my dreams to be a father. Truthfully I have to keep killing these dreams as they seem to arise the next day, next week, next year. I found that these dreams are similar to a Phoenix, rising out of the ashes. It's similar to the "Christian" construct of dying to self daily to allow the Christ to live in you daily (I'm aware that historically the concept of dying to self daily to allow the creator to live more fully is older than my religion.....Back-up off of me you haters). I have to die to self daily to allow the Father and Husband in me live. Being myself and being a Father doesn't always jibe. Being a Father is a more developed position that being myself ever could be. Having a committed relationship is a far more advanced state of existence than simply 'being myself' could ever be. The truth is, being in a relationship makes one bigger.

I ended the conversation with my friend realizing that I really had nothing concrete to help him over the hump except for him to know that I was always here for him to speak too. Upon the close of our conversation I realized that having my friend to bounce ideas, concerns, and worries off of has indeed made me bigger. I just pray that he feels bigger from our call. Bless you my friend, let's grow together ! Daddies til' the day we die !

Seko
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is also in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, real estate, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Purpose, Creativity, and Faith in the New Year

The purpose: To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community.
The use of creativity: To leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.
The faith in: Parents, teachers, leaders, and the righteousness and victory of struggle.
The New Year: A chance, symbolically, to create anew.

As a child I learned to embrace the above principles as a child would. As a teenager the stuff started to make sense, and made me more attractive to the ladies I was attracted to "I think it's cute that you do so much community stuff." (I later learned that I needed a few more things to finally get the girls who ended up hugging me and then falling all over my Thuggy', Pretty Boy, and Sport-Jock friends. I found that the power of music and performance, as a DJ and and musician, gave me just as many groupie-girls as my Thuggy', Pretty Boy, and Sport-Jock friends. Life was good................ As a college student I truly became conscious of the impact that a purpose driven life produced.

It was then that I learned the importance of motivation. I currently tell my children that the word Motivation has basically two portions. The Motive, and the "Ation" (Action minus what you 'see'.) I further detail that once one loses their motive, normally the action will fall off as well. I was taught by some of the best elders that I needed to constant focus on my motive, as the motives may change over time. As a parent, I know truly feel "the blessing in their suggestions." I fully believe in the principles of Nia (Purpose), Kuumba (Creativity), and Imani (Faith) as they are transliterated in the seven candle observance. Ashee.

On Nia 2012, I received an email from the Dave Ramsey Team. The email simply stated "Are Your Goals Realistic? Take the Test. Ask any successful person, and they'll agree. In order to succeed, you must have goals." (Here is the link to his message to his subscribers. The test of the goals was deceptively simple: (1) Are your goals in writing? (2) Are your goals specific and measurable? (3) Are your goals shared? (4) Are your goals your own? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

As an agent with World Financial Group we frequently focus on goals. I'll need to openly share some goals for 2013 in an upcoming self-n-business development training. While the process we use is a great and involved process, I loved the deceptive simplicity of Dave's message. So tonight I leave you in the Roman Calendar year of 2012 and will greet you in the Roman Calendar year of 2013 with my goals. I'd love for you to share your goals with me as well. Let's grow together. Have a blessed year.......Here's a hint .... It's up to you to make it blessed...... I know, some of you still think that it's solely up to the Almighty. (Read whatever Holy book you wish....... All who were blessed, worked for their blessing. Thanks to my mentor John Epting for fully making that point to me in his actions, words, and prayers.) Alafiah ! Ashee ! Amen !

Are Your Goals Realistic?

Seko~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in business, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Self Determination - I am wealth - Kujichagalia

"To name ourselves, define ourselves, speak for ourselves...."
    I grew up with this principle and transliteration being my favorite. As a youth involved in early Hip-Hop culture it was important to name yourself and to define yourself. I had various names and definitions from The Stingray, Shy-Ben, D.J. Mastermind, and The Graffiti Ratt ! During the same time I spent great amounts of time in various church choirs, bands, and youth activities. In each of these venues I was able to display and explore various aspects of what I became to understand was my growing-totality. I also was guided into understanding what I wasn't as well as what I was. Even as all of my nearly 95% white neighbors in Columbus, Ohio moved out of the area as soon as my family moved onto the court. I saw "For Sale" signs going up while we were still unpacking the moving van from New York Those moving neighbors called me all types of names and attempted to define me in many ways. One of the things which saved me, in addition to watching the paradoxical events of some of those neighbors seeking out my Father's advice and guidance on religious and addiction matters they were struggling with, was the principle of Kujichagalia. I was later able to hang-out with peers who were involved in very negative behaviors and overcome the peer-pressure because I refused to accept their assumptions and definitions for me although I didn't refuse their friendship. On numerous occasions my friends would warn me when they were going to engage in something that didn't fit in my definition of myself or my activities. After they warned, I simply left the scene and found something else to do. Since our family lived the principles of our seven candles daily along with our Christian values, leaving my peers and publicly sharing my reasons for leaving them during those moments provided me with valuable leadership skills.

     A few years ago I decided that I wanted to change the experience of my family. My parents believed that if one received a good education, everything else will fall in place. While my parents, and those in their time made great strides to transform America into the America that I'm enjoying, this approach has left some of the crusaders of those times in poverty, depending on social security, or just making it. While most of family's elders seemed to be doing well I began noting as I grew older a deep seated concern on their finances. Many were living too long, and were outliving their retirement plans or outspending their pensions. While all of my father's siblings seemed to be doing well, few were in a position to "employ themselves and employ others", which is a sure sign of empowerment. After much research I found the writings and books of Dave Ramsey, Clark Howard, and my beloved Michelle Singletary. Soon I began a process to rid myself from any forms of debt, and then the Wifey-Fo-Lifey joined me as we moved towards a total money makeover. We're still in the process and not enjoying the process, but we are reaping the benefits of the process. We are winning. Our household mantras went from "No New Debt" to "Destroy all past debts". Although we have a 30 year loan on our house, following the strategies from the aforementioned gurus, and using other strategies I learned after I joined World Financial Group and became a financial services professional, we will save hundreds of thousands using these approaches versus following the normal dictates of the mortgage.

     We should be able to pay for our children's college costs easily out of our pockets, and we have multiple strategies which will safely yet bountifully fund our retirement years.  This year we were able to  go over budget on our Christmas gift spending without using a dime of credit, and our budget overage will not affect our operational budget. As Dave Ramsey states "Live like no one else, and later you can live like no one else." In this upcoming New Roman Calendar Year, I pray that you may begin living like no one else. Debt is the new Slavery.............. And we ain't going back ! I pray that you leave the credit-devil alone. I pray that you stop believing the lie that a person needs credit to get ahead. Define yourself as wealth and act in that manner. Wealth invests it's resources, honors it's commitments, and then spends on the non-essentials. As KRS-ONE states "Visualize wealth, and put yourself in the picture." Habari-Gani ? Kujichagalia !!!!! Light that 1st green candle son.
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service.

Seko has diverse background in real estate, personal finance, business, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.

Umoja, Unity - We Are One in Splendor

We are one in splendor:
We stayed in the house today (12/26/2012). We watched BET's marathon of Alex Haley movies and explained aspects of America's history of Improvement with our children. In the midst of the marathon I smiled thinking how far my family has come based upon the stories my grandmothers told me of our history. I also grimaced, considering the difficult Christmas time my family has had this year. On New Years Eve I consoled a tearful and shaking woman who wondered aloud "I fought to stay alive for this ? I didn't stay alive for this life." Her words were like a cold drink on a bad tooth. I struggled to remain calm and whisper "I glad... We're glad that you decided to fight. We're glad you're alive Mom." Mom then shared her despair that the family seemed dis-jointed and her fears that wounds would never heal. "I just want us to be ONE." Forcing a smile I struggled to say "We Are One. We will remain one." I then prayed to the Almighty for Oneship' followed by talking in-my-mind to the memory of my Father and Mother-In-Law. "Dad, Mom (Mother-in-law) - a familiar presence is needed." I needed a sign.

The next morning I awoke and prayed "Yeshua (Jesus), As your followers celebrate your birth, allow my family to feel your splendor." Later that afternoon my revered Sister (Sister-in-law) became engaged. Later that afternoon the wounds that afflicted my family began healing. Later that afternoon I delivered a Christmas plate from a family get-together to my Mum who was finally sleeping soundly. It is truly beautiful and splendid for brethren to dwell together in Unity. I awoke this morning to a day that we dedicate to Building and Maintaining Unity in the family, community, nation and race. Habari Gani ? - Umoja (Unity). We are one in splendor.
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From December 26th, 2007:
http://daddyvarner.blogspot.com/2007/12/we-are-one.html

We are one.... Today we had a PJday. We remained in the home and the kids and the Wifey never left their pajamas. I left the home only to turn in some paperwork at one of my side hustles, and also to buy some food from Choice Pizza & Subs in Virginia Beach. We stayed in the whole day and played, watched t.v., ate together, and had family time. During dinner I turned off the television and picked up a newspaper article that asked the question "What do you know about Kwanzaa ?"

I've been celebrating Kwanzaa for over 30 years. While in Columbus, Ohio my pops/mum sponsored Dr. Karenga (The main creator of the American Kwanzaa celebration) and his equally radical wife to stay with us as he did a three day cultural event for my pops' church Advent United Church of Christ. My Father (aided by my Mum) built this church from a few follks in my parent's living room. We had been celebrating our Kwanzaa for about seven years when Karenga came. He was a bit much for me then, as I really wanted just to fit in and Columbus Ohio in the 1980's was still a little scared of Kwanzaa. Each day during Kwanzaa in the 80's a group of Afrika-loving folk would gather together in homes, community centers, churches and in parks (t'was really cold in the parks) and revel in our ancestral love. (Circa 1977 - 1986) I loved these celebrations as people got together and pot-lucked, listened to story tellers, danced to African Drums from Tony West and The Imani Dancers, partied with a D.J. who threw-down, and the ladies were so hot !

Today will be my children's 7th and 6th Kwanzaa respectively. Kwanzaa is just something our family does, my parents have a well attended family Kwanzaa celebration every year and my daughter previously danced with a group (http://www.suwabiafricanballet.com/) named Suwabi Afrikan Ballet. I have also coordinated a long standing Kwanzaa celebration for the Imani Foundation (http://www.imanifoundation.com/) for about nine yars (tomorrow will be the 19th annual event for Imani Foundation which is 12 years old...we were members of Uhuruu African American Cultural for seven years and ran our program under that moniker). This year I declined to coordinate the event, and I will resign my position as the President of The Imani Foundation on 12/27/2008.

Normally on 12/26 we are at somebodies public event. This year we stayed home, as Kwanzaa should stay at home, as it was intended. Karenga and the U.S. organization (Karenga did develop the celebration with other people) designed public Kwanzaa events as events to teach non-practitioners how to celebrate Kwanzaa. At the close of tonight's dinner I asked my kids (to innitiate our Kwanzaa celebration) "What do you know about Kwanzaa ?" My daughter stated "The Red is for STRUGGLE, the Black is for PEOPLE, the Green is for HOPE." That's not completely the descriptions that the U.S. organization provided, yet that is what I have chosen to teach my kids. I didn't diverge from the truth, I removed some terms that may separate us from our peers. My wife greeted them with "Habri Gani" and my son said "Que Paso" (a loose translation into soulful-spanish). Then he and my daughter both said Umoja. Umoja being the principle of today prompted the question "What is Unity ?" My Son-sun answered that Unity is everything being stuck together and becoming like one. He then explained how the entire world is connected by touching. He said "The chair is touching the floor that's touching the wall that's touching the piano, that's touching the wall that's touching the painting. Everything in the world is touching something and we are all connected. As I searched for the exception to his rule I couldn't find one on a non-sub-atomic level. We are all touching each other in some way. We are all touched and effected by tragedies, and we are all touched by the breath of life. We are all touched by STRUGGLES. We are all touched by other PEOPLE. We are all touched by seeing others operate in HOPE.

I don't celebrate Ramadan but I've been touched by the words and actions of the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan. I'm not Jewish, maybe I'm Hebrew (I'm sure some are not gonna' understand that), but I've been touched by my beloved friends of Temple Beth El who are Biblical Jews (Israelistes) as opposed to Rabbinical Jews. I'm constantly touched by Donnie D. who hosts "The Big Idea" on CNBC (One of my favorite shows and stations). As a child, every Chanukkah in New York (1968 - 1976) was spent with my parent's dear friends the Gluckmans (Rabbi Emeritus Donald N. Gluckman and family) who allowed me to get drunk on wine as a two year old at one of their celebrations when all the adults failed to notice that a little boy was drinking after everyone.

I'm a Conscious-Christian and I've been touched by Christian people and groups who terrorized my family/ancestors with "Accept Christ or die" and the Trail of Tears, and the Klu Klux Klan (yes, they were a Christian group) as well as being loved, touched by, and prayed for by Christian absolute strangers who saw a frown on my face as I struggled with something in life. I never could think of anything to debunk my son's theory. As I considered the origins of mankind I began singing a Frankie Beverly and Maze tune..... "We are one." My sons' simple observation was truly profound. We are one. May we remain one. May we exemplify oneness. One love yall'. Happy Ramadan, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year. Whatever you celebrate, I celebrate you !
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Post script - I am well aware of Dr. Karenga's past and the environment that the Kwanzaa celebration was birthed into. The celebrants of Kwanzaa that I associate with view Karenga's past and movement towards Improvement as we view America's past and America's movement towards improvement. We also value that the last letter "A" in Kwanzaa is a tribute to "America" (The term Kwanza has one ending letter "A", the celebration Kwanzaa ends with "AA" which nods to Afro-America".) Also we embrace that Kwanzaa was a man-made creation similar to Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, and all other Holy-Days and Holidays. Lastly we embrace that while Dr. Karenga and the U.S. Organization did not place the date to conflict with Christmas although in the 3rd century Christmas was changed from it's earlier various dates (notable January 6th as the Orthodox and Coptic Churches still celebrate Christmas on January 6th) as one of the many tactics the early church used to stamp out earlier religious and cultural celebrations that were on December 25th in order to force conversion to our beloved Christianity.
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Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. They specialize in debt reduction, investments, and insurances. Seko is in high demand as a special events DJ and owns an event marketing service. Seko has diverse background in real estate, personal finance, business, counseling and education. Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be or call 757-248-3820 for more details.