This is your ol' pal bellyfat talking.
Now I know that might sound a bit weird.... And I've never contacted you by email before. But this is an emergency and I was worried enough to learn how to type.
We sure had a great time this summer didn't we? Lots of good times, great food, and plain ol' sitting around eating and drinking too much.
Here's the deal. I'm considering sticking around for another year or so if you don't mind. You don't mind do you? However you might need to get a bigger pair of pants or dress size to accommodate my expansion down here.
But do me a favor, avoid that metabolic resistance training you were thinking of doing.
Please just hear me out and don't do anything crazy...
The last time you tried that stuff I nearly had to evacuate the premises. It got so hot down here I was like the wicked witch of the west "I'm melting, I'm melting!" I think they heard me all the way back in Oz.
Instead, stick to that slow, boring, useless cardio stuff.Yeah, I may get a little hot down here and break a mild sweat, and the ol' brain up there thinks it's getting in a real "burner," but it's never enough to melt ME outta here.
Look, we've been friends for such a long time. We're used to each other. Hell, we're GREAT together! How many times have your friends poked me with an index finger and said "Hey chubbs!"? You know you giggled like the pillsbury doughboy! And it wasn't just an act to save your feelings.
You and me -- we're Pleasantly Plump! I give you your shape. I keep you warm on those cold winter nights. I jiggle when you run, and you know that gives you extra momentum. It's a scientific fact. Trust me, I understand these things.
You can't imagine your life without me. I know you tried some crazy diet stuff before, but thank my twinkies it didn't work. And I forgive you for trying to evict me.
Well it sure was good catching up with you. I'm sure we'll be in touch more often, as long as you stay away from that metabolic resistance training stuff that's guaranteed to put me out on the street...
Especially that new 21-Day Xtreme Fat Loss Challenge that everyone is raving about.
Sounds Hot. Too Hot.
Me no likey Xtreme Fat Loss workouts.
Brings tears to my eyes whenever I even hear a mere whisper about that 21-day challenge and all the belly fat that's burned. Hell, it's fried more fat than the cook at your local Waffle House joint.
So again, if you want to keep me, your dear old belly fat, around for another year and another summer, don't register for the 21-Day Xtreme Fat Loss Challenge. - otherwise, its all over friend, and you can kiss me goodbye. Gosh I hate goodbyes. **sad face**
Belly fat says do not register for this 21-Day program.
Your pal and faithful spare tire,
Belly fat, your BF-BFF
(Belly Fat Best Friend Forever)
PS - Seriously, don't even think about registering for the 21-Day Xtreme Fat Loss Challenge.
...unless you want to see me, Thunder Thighs, Jigg Lee, Man Boobs, Arm Fat, and Luv Handles pack our bags and hit the road jack.
It will be a teary eyed fair well, and you'd be stuck with a tight, toned, midsection, gorgeous glutes, toned arms, and do you know how much attention you would get from the opposite sex?
Who the heck needs it, I say.
But if YOU do, you can get it here with the 21-Day
Xtreme Fat Loss Challenge.
Down right crazy if you ask me.
PPS - Don't do what this guy and gal did.
They used Metabolic Resistance Training (or what I like to call Flash Point Training) to kick their belly fat to the curb. Now please go get some more of that good ol' comfort food like meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and some really cheesy Mac N' Cheese. "mmmmmm nom-nom-nom-nom...
Register for the 21-Day Xtreme Fat Loss Challenge right here:
21-Day Xtreme Fat Loss Challenge
-----
Chris Otto, NSCA-CPT
757-639-6133
www.bodyrescyou.com
PS -- If you liked today's comedic email, please fwd this on to any of your friends, family, co-workers, or anyone you feel would enjoy it.
Body RescYou, 5353 Commons Court, Virginia Beach VA, 23462© 2012 All rights reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's be improved ! Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. This team began in 2010 and is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable. Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be.
Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher. Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television media. Visit html://www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details.
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