Sunday Schooled - Red, Black, Light, and White

Originally posted 10/17/2008. 'Sunday Schooled' is a collection of blog posts from Seko Varner's former blogs. The original post can be found here:
http://daddyvarner.blogspot.com/2008/10/red-black-light-and-white.html

This school year has entered a new dimension into the lives of a father................ Race.

Soulful of terms regarding Black complexion:

Light Skin/Red-bone: (Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys too Halle Berry)
Red/Caramel: (Halle Berry, Queen Latifah, to Oprah)
Black/Dark Skin: (Oprah to Wesley Snipes & beyond)

Today while eating lunch with my daughter she laughed with a peer sitting nearby saying She's red. She then looked at me and said "You and me are Red, Mommy is Black." I looked puzzled until a light-skinned boy who sat across from us said "I'm Red too !" The daughter looked at the peer smiling and said to me "Yep Daddy ! He's Red like Bebe (my light-skinned mother). My lil' mama is now race-conscious.

It's been interesting with lil' mama in public school as my son takes in everything but shares very little. Lil' man will tell you only the most interesting things that he experiences, while lil' mama' gives a full narrative. In example: The son: "Lunch was cool, I didn't get in trouble, I ate my veggies (Political talk: He ate a few of his veggies)." The daughter: "Ohh Daddy. We had hot-dogs, beans, and broccoli. I ate everything except for the fruit. I didn't have time to eat Daddy. So-and-so kept talking and our table moved from Green to Yellow. I told her to stop and she stuck her tongue out at me. I loved the hot dog. I added ketchup to it and ate it while the rest of the class was sitting down since I was at the front of the line".........and so on, and so on, and so on. So now the Wifey and I have a chance to really find out what's happening at their school.

Lil' man really didn't speak about racial differences when he was a first grade. Lil' mama, our current first grader, speaks about race in a very cavalier manner. This year's campaign of Senator Obama has made race a very interesting topic lately. Lil' man became intrigued with Obama towards the end of last year. "There has never been a Black President Dad?", "Why were people mean to Blacks and Dr. King Dad?", "If Barack has a White mother why does he look like he is Black ?" Now Lil' mama is asking about a lot of people. "What is she daddy ? Is he Chinese ? Are they Indian, do they live in Tee-Pees ?"

Lil' man is now noticing how many Soul-folk (people of color) are in a room as he enters the room. However, it's a little different than when I was younger. He thinks that it's cool to be Black "but it really doesn't matter Dad. Everyone is cool to me." I used to feel somewhat of an outsider as frequently I was raised in situations that were either primarily White frequently or primarily Black infrequently. I remember a friend named Brian who was a next-door neighbor cursing at me saying "It's all your fault Ni##er ! My family gotta' move all because you and the rest of your Coons moved in." I remember crying to a teacher who hugged all of the children in the class except me sobbing and saying "I feel all alone, I'm the only Christian in this Catholic school classroom." Without physically consoling me she said "Are you sure you are worried about that ?......We all love Jesus, and Jesus loves us all. Go back into the classroom and stop crying." I wasn't really worried about the Christian/Catholic thing. She knew it. I knew it. Kids wouldn't get near me saying that I had a special strain of cooties.....Ni##er Cooties. I then began a campaign to get my parents to remove me from the "costly" Catholic school to the "Free" public school so I could meet and matriculate with the Soulful neighbors who began to invade our Columbus Ohio neighborhood. I needed back-up. As a child I always looked for a Black looking face so I wouldn't feel alone, I felt the need for back-up. I was one of the only Black kids in the Columbus Boys Choir, I was the only Black kid in my mother's preferred church and was always in great demand for the Christmas play. They always held a special part in the play....... I was the Black King who visited the Christ-child. The year I tried out for the part of Joseph I caught peer-related hell. It's funny that I caught hell since the part of Mary that year (of one of the years I was the King) was played by a very light skinned girl who later became my best friend during that time period. [She now has changed her racial designation from African-American/Black to American Indian (with some African ancestry) and I believe that she has married a guy from Hawaii (He's lucky....Dawn is gorgeous, smart, and a very church-involved trust-worthy-faithful type of woman). Her father was known as one of the first Black Judges in Ohio and her mother has successfully sued that church for discrimination.] I was too dark to be Joseph, she was o.k. to be Mary as maybe no one would know the difference. I can't remove the fact that her mother was a very powerful member of that primarily-white congregation and I was a frequent visitor. She also earned the part as an active member of the youth group, and I may have been seen as a radical. I remember Dawn-Karima telling me in one of our conversations that people always expected me to join the Nation of Islam and how many people related me to Michael from Good Times who was the "radical" in the television show family. He thinks that counting the Soul-folk in a room is a novelty, I felt alone. Times have really changed for the better.

Raising children in today's America is different. I can't and won't give them my anger towards the racism I felt. I temper my statement that involve race to ensure that my scars are not passed on. I do imbue them with a love for their African, Indian, and European ancestry. I do imbue them with a love for African culture, an interest in the struggles and achievements of (so-called) Africans throughout the world, the historic accomplishments of (so-called) Indians and a love for the coolness of being Black. It's a little difficult when we discuss and watch movies such as Ruby Bridges, Dr. King videos, and when we recently saw The Express. Lil' mama has repeatedly asked "Why are they being so mean to them ?" while the Lil' man has heard me say my scripted statement "There was a time in America when unfair things happened to people of African ancestry. That time is over and ended a long time ago" so many times that he can almost say it with me.

This is a new America (USA). This is a new time. My children embrace the Red-Black-& Green as well as the Red-White-& Blue and don't see a problem. This is a good time.
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8/14/16 Update! 

Dawn Karima didn't get married as I earlier believed. I am not currently involved in WFG.

Let's be improved !
Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. This team began in 2010 and is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable.
Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be. Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher.

Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television media. Visit http://www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details.

Trainer's Tuesday - Burn calories while you watch t.v.

Guest post from Health Guru Chris Otto !

Whats up Freedom Seekers? Most folks don't know this. But whether you're man or woman, one of the biggest secrets to burning fat is to build some muscle. Sounds crazy, I know. But it's absolutely true. The more muscle you have, the more calories you'll burn -- even while you're on the couch watching Mork and Mindy re-runs. That's why I want you to read today's article with a close eye ... and discover how you can start building muscle and burning fat like crazy.

Stay Fit, Chris Otto Body RescYou Virginia Beach's Premier Health & Fitness Expert

Build Muscle and Burn Fat From The Comfort Of Your Own Home

If you want that 'ultimate' beach body, building a little muscle will help you get there. There are two main reasons for this: 1. Muscle is what gives you body that lean, sleek, sexy look. 2. The more muscle you have, the more calories -- and ultimately body fat -- your body will burn. Now if you're a woman reading this, I know what you might be thinking ... "I don't want to build muscle and get big and bulky." Rest easy. It's not easy for women to build that degree of muscle. What's more, building muscle for a woman is what gives her that toned, tight, sexy look. So don't worry. Even if you do put on a few pounds of muscle, you won't look like Arnold back in his glory days! So what can you do to build muscle? Easy.

Start with these simple exercises you can do in the comfort of your own home:
Hindu Squats - place your feet shoulder width apart. Straighten your arms in front of you, palms facing down. Inhale and as you do pull your hands straight back. Now bend your knees and squat. As you do this exhale and let your arms fall to your sides and touch the ground. Now straighten your knees back to the starting position: standing straight up with your arms extended in front of you.

Jump Squats -- Start in a crouching position, knees bent and in a full squat. Now quickly straighten your legs and jump upward as high as you can. As you jump, look up and extend your arms towards the ceiling. Soften your landing by landing toes first, then placing the heel on the ground. Now squat back down to the starting position.

Pushups -- Lie face down. Place your palms flat on the floor, a little more than shoulder width apart. Extend your legs behind you and make sure they are together. Keep your back straight and lower yourself until your nose almost touches the ground. Now push yourself back up to the starting position. There you have it. Three exercises you can do today (even as soon as you're done reading this!) that will help you build muscle and burn fat.

If you want, you can do these in rounds. Start by doing 20 Hindu squats, take no rest and move straight into 20 jump squats, and then immediately go into 20 pushups. (if you can't do that many, then do as many reps as you can for each exercise. Then gradually build up.) Once you're done with this superset, rest a minute or two. Then repeat 2 - 4 more times. Do this, and I guarantee you'll be sucking flies in no time. But best of all, you'll be on the path to creating the "beach body" you've always wanted.

Oh and by the way -- if you haven't already, make sure you claim your FREE fitness consultation (an $87 value) You'll meet one-on-one with a highly-trained health professional. You'll discuss specific nutrition and exercise techniques you can use for YOUR body to start seeing amazing results in just a few weeks. To get started today,click here.

Quote Corner "Every human being is the author of his own health or disease." - Gautama Siddharta

Eat Yourself Thin 
Cold Black Bean Salad (Serves Five) 2 (15-ounce) cans black beans, rinsed and drained 2 tomatoes, finely chopped 3 serrano chile peppers, seeded and chopped 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped 1/4 white wine vinegar 2 tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil 1/2 teaspoon Sea salt **For increased Protein, add a grilled chicken breast cut into cubes 1. In a medium serving bowl, mix together the black beans, tomatoes, chilies, bell pepper, vinegar, oil and salt. Chill for 1 hour before serving. Prep: 20 mins Cook: 0 mins Ready: 20 mins Amount Per Serving - Calories: 66/ Total Fat: 5.6g / Cholesterol: 0mg / Sodium: 238mg / Total Carbs: 3.6g / Dietary Fiber:1.2g / Protein 0.8g

Body RescYou
5353 Commons Court Virginia Beach VA 23462
Phone: 757-639-6133
chrisotto@bodyrescyou.com 
(c) Body RescYou, LLC (All Rights Reserved)
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Let's be improved ! Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. This team is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable and Team Tenacious. Positive Vibes Financial is now seeking great smiling people. On the job training and great compensation available ! Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be. Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher. Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television media. Visit html://www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details.

Sunday Schooled - We Dropped The Ball

Originally posted 12/25/2007 while Dr. Varner, Seko's father, was alive earthly. May his memory remain a blessing. 'Sunday Schooled' is a collection of blog posts from Seko Varner's former blogs.
http://drivingmrdaddy.blogspot.com/2007/12/we-dropped-ball.html

We have a Christmas tradition of going to the movies after a Holy-Day meal. Today the Wifey and I viewed "The Great Debaters" with Mum and Dad (Ruth and Dr. Rev. Samuel Varner). T'was great seeing this movie with Denzel holding the main character, who in real-life was a member of Omega Psi Phi ! (Dad and I are both Omega Men.) Scenes of a tar-and-feathered lynching and a few other scenes of racism hit my parents hard. Pops had watched a lynch mob lynch-kill an uncle, and Pops and his Dad also cut down about five other neighbors who were lynched in Opelika Alabama. Mum was touched by the overall feelings involved in the movie and wept for minutes after giving a rousing ovation at the end of the film. Strangers walked up and gave her hugs and initially left me wondering if I were doing enough to console her. I later realized that they shared her pain, and wanted to share the joys and pains the movie highlighted.

While walking Pops out to his car Dad began a story of an English teacher, a white professor, who played tennis with him weekly at 5:00 in the morning. The word circulated about this white female professor who was meeting with a negro boy most every morning and the college president made a general announcement that any interactions with white professors in that capacity due to the danger it posed to fellow students. In 1957 we were still getting lynched, Pops said. The situation became news when a bread company that delivered bread to the campus threatened if my Pops continued playing tennis with the professor, they would stop delivering bread to the campus. The professor responded by writing a letter to the bread company complaining if they were going to boycott by refusing to serve a Black college because of the Black student, they should also boycott a White college as the professor was white.

The big thing, Pops shared, was that the professor was teaching him English during the tennis games. He was failing English horribly and the professor decided to take extra time with my Pops who didn't have an adequate English class in his high-school. Pops reportedly took a class for four years that would currently equate to Freshman English 101. He learned standard English speaking patterns and nuances while conversing with a professor who needed someone to aid her in staying in shape and keeping her tennis skills sharp. What a trade. Dad noted that once the games ended, he had a hard time......but he remained alive. Times were hard, but he lived the life that was given him, and played the games life gave him. Pops is so proud of the accomplishments of his generation. It pains me now when looking at peers who really don't care.

When the ball was passed, we dropped the ball. We dropped the ball..............It's time to pick it up.
I give thanks to our Great Debaters.

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Let's be improved ! Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of individual financial services agents. This team began in 2010 and is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable. Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be. Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher. Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television media. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details. Seko is on the look-out for new team members. Contact him to discuss the possibilities.

Sunday Schooled - I Dare You

Originally presented on the Driving Mr Daddy Blog
Original posting date of  11/20/2007 while Dr. Varner was alive earthly. May his memory remain a blessing. 'Sunday Schooled' is a collection of old blog post from Seko Varner's former blogs.
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Driving with dad last night (11/19/2007) is something for the books. Dad needed to go to Suffolk again to continue teaching new U.C.C. ministers about the U.C.C. amenities. En route pops fell into a story about a book named "I Dare You." While dad was in high-school his principal made weekly addresses on Fridays. A number of these addresses were from the book wherein the author dared the reader to take chances, dared the reader to achieve at their apex, dared the reader to believe in themselves when no evidence supported their self-esteem. Dad took the dare. He approached his principal stating "I want to read the book." His principal provided dad a copy of the book to get rid of him. Dad read the book a number of times and shared with the principal how he enjoyed the reading upon returning the book. The principal shared his disbelief until dad was able to speak at length about the chapters. The principal was so impressed that he gave dad a copy to keep. The Principal then told Dad of a job in a mine and told Dad that he was only going to recommend 3 (out of 51) classmates for College. Dad would not be one of them.

It was 1957 in Opelika Alabama. He told Pops that if he took this job he would be set for life as this company did not hire many Blacks, but based upon Dad's dad's reputation, they would give him a chance as long as he was honest. During that time the Principal's letter allowed college entrance as the SAT were not available then. Dad made it to college by himself and sent the principal a letter upon being accepted. He sent the Principal copies of his report cards, he sent a letter upon graduation, he sent a letter from Africa, he sent a letter from Europe, he sent a letter upon receiving his Master's degree, and upon receiving his Doctorate degree. In each correspondence he thanked the Principal for "everything else you did for me."

While in Undergraduate studies at Livingston College dad was exposed to healthy living from the doctors on campus. As a youth in Alabama the family did not have many interactions with health care professionals. A doctor from Africa told my asthma-stricken father that if he used barbells and added muscle mass to his chest he would increase his lung capacity. The African told pops to buy some barbells..........dad was so poor that couldn't even pay attention. Dad went to the school cafeteria, found two large cans for collard greens, put holes in the cans, placed cement into the cans, and put a metal stick between the cans. His homemade barbells took the place of medicine that he couldn't afford. He was teased by classmates who called him "Homemade" until the summer months when he strutted around campus in displaying his finely chiseled upper body. He then became one of the most popular men on campus lady-wise. After basking in some memories he didn't care to share with me he looked at me and said... "I dare you."

Original post:
http://drivingmrdaddy.blogspot.com/2007/11/i-dare-you.html
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Let's be improved !
Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agent. This team began in 2010 and is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable. Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be. Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher. Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television media.

Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details.

You need to be independent - JoAnna Colasito

I'm a bit spoiled....
I'm trained by the best....
I'm truly value the gifts that I've been given access to...
Ashee, Amen.

I've found that a scheduled incremental investment in training / education / understanding can aid the movement from "Ashy to Classy" (Obvious Biggie Smalls reference - He's the illest'). So I ensure that I get some form of weekly spiritual educational experience such as church, Bible study class, World Religion studies, or meditation. I do the same musically, with 'Conscious Enlightenment', and in the area of self-motivation. I also ensure that I attend a seminar, workshop, webinar, and the like to improve my lines of business. Recently I attended a seminar provided by my home World Financial Group office focused upon taking "Charge of your business." I entered the room ready to rock, I left the room charged !

Our presenter was JoAnna Colasito. She has built one of the most impressive businesses I've ever been exposed to. Her message was deceptively simple. "You can never become a leader if you keep letting people take care of you."............................... I was done. I was floored. In one sentence she laid out the main difficulty I have struggled with in my profession in the Human Services field. As a school counselor I struggled to get the students to recognize their power and responsibility in obtaining their education. I also struggled with attempting to guide educational professionals to recognize their power and responsibility in managing their classes and emotions as they guide our students. I have certainly struggled with parents who wanted the schools to 'fix' their children or wanted the schools to accept the nonsense from their children that they permitted. In all these cases guiding others into greater responsibility was the key. Folk had to take charge of business. I instantly connected this statement to the problems of the inner city as well as the problems in dependence on government that has stifled people of African and Indian descent in America. I was going deep until minutes later JoAnna simply stated "You need to be independent before you achieve independence."

FLOORED AGAIN ! That statement channeled Dr. John Henrik Clarke, The Honorable Elijah Muhammad, Marcus Garvey, Madam C. J Walker, Rush Limbaugh, and possibly even Sean Hannity in one fell swoop. After a while I was able to leave the weight of her insight scribbled on my handy-dandy notebook alone and follow the remaining guidance in her presentation. I walked out of the session with three pages of 'copious notes'. The next day I reviewed my notes over a brisk coffee and allowed the message to imbue itself into my life. I later met with a client and shared with her "You have to claim your independence from difficulty. You need to stop spending money on entertainment and fund your emergency fund. Starbucks, McDonalds, and the club will never save you when Murphy's law hits you. You got in this mess when you didn't know better. Now that you know better, do better. It's time to graduate into better things."

I want all of us to move towards independence. My senior partner Michael French's blog ( http://mwfrenchfinancial.wordpress.com/) states "Many people say that their dream is unreachable because it cost too much.  What a sad excuse to give up on your dreams.  When you look at a little kid that wants a toy, they do not stop until they have it or are punished, by their parents, for throwing a temper-tantrum.  They are willing, at that time, to give their life for their dream toy." We can begin that movement to independence once we develop the child-like tenacity that Mike spoke of. The path to your dreams begins with a step towards independence.

If you don't have an emergency fund, make that step towards independence. Independently suspend your investment into others financial success. All of those places in the mall and restaurants and clubs will be waiting for you once you return to them with a fully funded emergency fund. Take a temporary fast from spending money on entertainment, food, and things that will not support you if you find yourself in need of money. I often tell my clients "Once you have an emergency fund you (will) stop having emergencies. You'll start have some situations, but your emergency fund will pay for those situations." I recently shared with a client who just graduated from High School "Think back...... The only people who were bullied were the punks who wouldn't or couldn't stick up for themselves. They all needed someone to stop the bullies for them. That's how life is. Once you have a funded emergency fund you'll find that life can't easily punk you." She laughed and planned to open an emergency fund that day following the plan I provided for her. She didn't want to follow the lead of her mother who lived paycheck to paycheck and was always in a bind when something happened. This former student didn't like it when I said "It's your mother's fault, she's not taking charge of her life and preparing for problems. She's a slave to emergencies and doesn't act like she wants to be free." At the end of our session she was determined to be the leader her parents, family, school teachers, church members, and community haven't been. She wanted independence. I gave the a map. I look forward to watching her move towards independence. Question....... What's up with you ?

I'd love to hear what you think. Holla' at cha' scholar (leave a comment). I always give complimentary sessions to recent graduates. If you or anyone you know can benefit from financial guidance, contact me !

As Michael French says "If you do not have a personal financial advisor, get one. PERIOD! I will refer you to a Financial Advisor in your area, or I will help you personally. Do not ever give up on your dream. Fight until you realize it or they bury you in the ground."  - Asante Sana JoAnna, Asante Sana Michael !
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Let's be improved ! Seko Varner is from Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. This team began in 2010 and is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable. Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be. Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher. Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television media. Visit www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details.

Trainer's Tuesday - Micro Burst - Chris Otto

GUEST POST FROM CHRIS OTTO !

Exercise is meant to be fun and enjoyable yet I find more and more people having a tough time fitting it into their busy schedules.

===> The fastest workout in the world <<===

There are 24 hours in a day and everyone has access to those same 24 hours. Not a minute more or a minute less. For me it’s about taking those 24 hours and utilizing them in the most productive way possible without being side tracked or distracted from some pesky time vampires. You know the ones that come around and suck the precious time right from under you without you even realizing what happened until its too late. For the most part these folks mean well and aren’t aware they are draining your precious time away from you yet they really don’t value your time the way YOU should. (See what I did there?) With our fast pace society and “gotta have it now” mentalities delayed gratification is just another phrase out of a self help book that doesn’t have the same meaning it used to for most people… …SOO we gotta suck it up and roll with the punches anyway.

Even if we feel there isn’t enough time to do the things we know we need to do there has got to be a way to squeeze something in there some way somehow. Because when we are dealing with our health we can’t be messin around. We have one body and one life and there ain’t a reset button. So you better take darn good care of the one you have or you just might end up broke down like a '76 Ford Pinto. (I’ve seen a broke down ’76 Ford Pinto and let me tell ya, it ain't pretty) Even with all the business and hectic schedules, of all things that are holy we should still be able to find time for exercise even if its 5-10 minutes a day and frankly you can get in a hell of an intense workout in 5-10 minutes. Just check out my video here

The workout in this video is what I call a Micro Burst where you are taking multiple exercises and movements and combining them all into one exercise which makes for a brief yet intense full body workout. Hence the term Micro Burst. (Side note: the workout in the video is intense and may be modified. The pushups can be performed on the knees.) This can be performed in sets where you aim for 6-10 reps of each movement at 3-6 sets depending on your level of fitness.

OR

You can perform these in a decreasing rep fashion where you pick a number of reps to start with say 8 for example. Your first set would be 8 reps; your second set would be 7 reps, third set 6 and so on until you get to 1 rep. This really breaks up the monotony of doing the same boring exercises over and over again and really trumps the hell out of a 45 minute jog to nowhere on a treadmill and speaking of treadmills.. You will thank me later and your body will thank YOU!!

Stay Awesome,
Chris Otto, NSCA-CPT Body RescYou
757-639-6133
www.bodyrescyou.com
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Let's be improved ! Seko Varner is the lead agent for Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agent. This team began in 2010 and is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable. Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be. Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher. Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentorship programs and has a background in radio and television media. Visit html://www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details.

When a Win-Win isn't a Win - Michael French

I attend a lot of motivational / inspirational / educational events. I know that I'm a better person in many aspects because of attending those events. As a counselor I frequently guide my clients into the 'Trinity of Change' (my term) which I learned from Alcoholics Anonymous meetings..... 'People, places, and things'. In those AA classes we were taught that change and relapse-prevention can occur by "Changing the people you hang with, changing the places you hang at, and changing the things you do." I often use this Trinity while guiding my students and clients working as a school and family counselor. While sounding simplistic, I attribute a great deal of my success as a counselor in my use of the Trinity. I also believe that a lot of the changes I have personally experienced has resulted from my use of the paradigm. I've also witnessed family and friends embrace Healthy living, Islam, Christianity, Consciousness, Education, and other paths which have led to the changing of the people they hang with, places they go, and the things they do. While it's easy to see how the Trinity can lead to positive change, I've also seen the change occur in a negative direction as the same occurs with all types of addiction. I'm also reminded of three of my former students who began working as dancers in so-called 'Gentlemen Clubs' for a little money and whose lives have gone downhill as a result of the people, places, and things that accompany strip clubs. Interestingly enough I never acted like a Gentleman when I visited those clubs, neither did the others patrons........

In World Financial Group events I often hear that your business will increase as you improve the amount or quality of the books you read, the people with whom you associate with, and the events you attend. At a recent event I was blessed enough to learn from a giant in our industry - Michael French. Mr. French taught on the value of competition during this session. As he led the packed audience into appreciating how competition drives us towards excellence I ended getting lost on one of his points. Mr. French stated, possibly a light note, that "Competition creates a win-win-win-win situation. You gotta' know when a win-win isn't a win." He continued guiding how by helping to strengthen our clients we also help to strengthen our product providers, our mother-company W.F.G., and finally ourselves as W.F.G. "agents of change." Mr. French continued to teach on the benefits of entering the competition and different ways to compete as I remained on the edge of my seat struggling to note the plethora of intellectual-goodies he shared while also pondering the weight of "You gotta' know when a win-win isn't a win."

As I returned home and reviewed my notes I began remembering the countless speeches my Father gave to me as I was a youth. Dad left for ancestral Glory on 09/21/2009 and only recently have the valued memories of my father become uplifting rather than depressing. I'm now finding that my loss, the death of my Father, is his gain, as he resides with the best. 2009 was a hard year as my beloved Mother-In-Law died, followed two months later by my Father's death, followed a few days later by a life-threatening experience faced by my Mother. 2009 was a challenge. One of the most memorable statements of my Father was his guidance that everything I do MUST (his emphasis) Glorify God, be pleasing to our Ancestors, improve our Family, and lead me towards my goals. Every action MUST result in a 4 fold benefit and held me accountable in a 4 fold manner. I smiled noting how his guidance was mirrored by Mr. French's guidance to ensure our actions resulted in a Win-Win-Win-Win scenario. I recently shared this concept with a client as I guided her into understanding the various options she had to invest in her future by saving her funds in a portfolio of products. One of which locked in gains and eliminated losses. Investing in her future will (1) improve her current financial standing, (2) improve her future financial standing, (3) improve her family's future financial standing, and provide her with a means to continue supporting her church and other charitable interests she has from this point on. "It will be a Win-Win-Win-Win for you." I stated as I ended wrapping up her options. She agreed.............. Thanks Mr. French, Thanks Dad.

What do you think of Mr. French's message. What do you think about my Father's (Farther) message ? I'd love to know. Leave a comment for me below !
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Let's be improved ! Seko Varner is the lead agent for Positive Vibes Financial, a World Financial Group team of financial services agents. This team is coached by WFG's Team Unstoppable. Seko also has ownership in and works with Positive Vibes DJs and the event marketing service Happily Ever After.Be. Seko has a background in counseling and special education. He was employed for 14 years with Portsmouth City Public Schools (Virginia) as a counselor and as a teacher. Seko has also worked as an Intensive In-Home Counselor for over 10 years. In addition to his business ventures Seko is active with numerous Youth Mentor programs and has a background in radio and television media. Visit html://www.HappilyEverAfter.Be for more details.